ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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