My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
