dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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