woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
