i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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