don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
