You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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