I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
