I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
