Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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