Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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