Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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