I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
