someone get that fucking seahorse.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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