my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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