he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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