bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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