I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
