i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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