girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
