hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
