She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
A bitchslap is in order.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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