TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
