i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
