it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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