that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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