VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
