i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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