I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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