Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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