Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
