do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
