i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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