Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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