You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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