but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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