Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
