it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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