I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
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Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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