Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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