you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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