You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
