someone get that fucking seahorse.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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