I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So squirting runs in the family.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just want nice things and good sex
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
