She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
BRING THE BAGELS
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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