Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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