We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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