Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think people are normalizing furries
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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