Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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