OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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