I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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