haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
