Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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