am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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