this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize