He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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