Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize