Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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