Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you had me at cake vodka
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
