I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
