I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
