Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
