Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
