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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
