the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
