If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
