but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
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I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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