im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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