There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
