I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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