I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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