The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
handjob tips. give me some.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
