I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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