I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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