If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize