There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
